Monday, September 9, 2013

for zilla.

A few weeks ago, one of the most dear people in my life passed away.

His name was Zilla.

Well, his real name was Kerry Price, but I never once heard a single person call him Kerry. He was Zilla to all who knew and loved him. My family is among those and he has been such a blessing to us for most of our lives.

I met Zilla when I was in 7th grade, when we went to Islamorada for the first time (that I remember) for Spring Break. Zilla was a deep sea fishing captain. His boat was named "Heidi Baby" and he was the definition of a sailor - filthy mouth, ridiculous stories, incredible fisherman, and a heart of gold.

Zilla gave me a nickname the first time he met me. Zilla taught me how to fish. Zilla said the f-word in front of my 7-year-old sister. Zilla told horrible and hilarious jokes. Zilla made fun of me when the sea got the better of me. Zilla found huge fish for my dad and brothers to catch. Zilla took us his special spots on the water and helped us haul in hundreds of yellowtail. Zilla let us jump off of his boat in the middle of the ocean and go swimming and snorkeling in a hundred feet of water - water so clear, you could see the bottom. Zilla introduced us to so many people in Islamorada and helped us establish relationships that helped it become our second home. Zilla was a part of our family - a treasured, irreplaceable part of our family.

Two summers ago, Zilla took us and many members of our family and many friends out on his boat and found a special place in the middle of the ocean where we could lay Daddy to his final resting place. That was one of the hardest days of my life because it was so FINAL. After that day, there wasn't anything left of him on this earth except for his legacy, but there was no place better to have that moment -- on a boat that we had spent so much time on, with a man who we loved and who loved us. Zilla even named the exact spot in honor of Daddy and we will forever be able to go back and commune with him there.

A few weeks ago, Zilla got sick. He contracted an infection from the sea that his body was unable to fight. His daughter and grandchild and his precious Anita were all with him. I am so glad that Zilla found a woman who loved him the way he deserved to be loved - unconditionally. She quickly became just as precious to us because we could see how much she loved him.

Just like Daddy, Zilla left a legacy. I am consider myself wholly blessed to be a part of that legacy. Enjoy the fishing in Heaven, Zilla. I bet Daddy already has the best spots reserved for the two of you. I'll see you again one day.

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." 

Some of it's magic, 
Some of it's tragic, 
But I've had a good life all the way.

Monday, July 22, 2013

welcome to dallas!

It's been just over a month since I moved to Dallas and I've yet to have even a tiny twinge of regret. That's a little bit amazing, since I haven't found a job yet, but I'm just enjoying myself way too much.

So far, I've reconnected with college friends, celebrated Independence Day, been to a Rangers game, found myself a church home, walked a lot (60+ miles this month alone!), started the process to join a community group, read several books, decorated my apartment, and jetted away for a weekend in Boston with my family.

Here's what I've been up to in pictures. Enjoy!

so excited to cross the state line into Texas!

living room



our morning walk scenery

my goal - accomplished!

after the city of irving fourth of july parade

independence day at the rangers game

summer bucket list

lobstah roll

sister is a babe

red sox versus yankees at fenway

siblings after dinner in Boston

this is an Instagram video of these three singing "Sweet Caroline" at Fenway this past weekend. I accidentally uploaded it as a picture but I'm leaving it because it's adorable!

here's the real thing :)

Thursday, June 13, 2013

#9: move to another state.

Well, folks, it's official. Next Thursday morning, I'm moving to Texas!!

Texas has been in the back of my mind since I graduated from Baylor three years ago and I'm so excited to be heading back! At a job fair in February, I interviewed with an HR representative with Dallas ISD. He was very interested in me as a Baylor grad with my Masters and we've been in touch ever since. Over the last several months, I've become more and more assured that this is the right move for me at this point in my life!

So, I'm headed to Dallas. I'm moving now so that as I continue to interview, I'll be able to say that I live in Dallas, not Nashville (which got some very strange looks the last time I said that). I'm also excited to get good and settled now, rather than trying to squeeze in a move right before school starts. Here's to new beginnings, a new city, a new apartment, and (hopefully) a new job. I'm nervous and excited all at the same time, but mostly just excited!

Dallas, here I come!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

101 in 1001 - update!

It's been a little more than 9 months since I started my 101 in 1001 list and I'm pretty proud of my progress! In the past few months, I've crossed several things off of my list and plan on getting to several more this summer! Here's what I've been up to:

4. Grow out my hair well past my shoulders - March 27, 2013 

I grew it out, and then chopped it off - typical! 

7. Graduate with my Masters - May 4, 2013

So proud of this! 

30. Subscribe to magazines I always buy in order to save money - February 2013

I love having them on my iPad!

79. Be a bridesmaid - December 29, 2012

Laura & Dustin are so dear to me. So blessed to have been part of their big day!

85. Eat a lobster - March 29, 2013

Not a huge fan, but happy that I finally did it!

As for the next few months, here are seven things I plan on crossing off of my list. As you might can guess, big changes are on the horizon! 

8. Become a teacher. 
9. Move to another state. 
18. Drink eight glasses of water a day for one week. 
22. Find a church home that fills me up. 
27. Have a picnic. 
54. Develop a daily routine and stick to it. 
56. Rid my house of anything that does not have a place. 

Thursday, March 21, 2013

dear daddy (two years).

Dear Daddy,

I literally cannot believe that it's been two years today since I've seen your handsome face. It's been two and two days since I've heard your voice. It's been two years and five days since I've  hugged you and felt you hug me back. I hate that.

I miss your voice more than I miss just about anything about you. Your phone calls were such a stable thing in my life. I could depend on hearing your voice every single day. I don't think I ever went more than 24 hours without hearing it, even in college. I loved knowing that I could call you at any hour of the day and you would answer. I loved knowing that if you left me a voicemail, I could guess exactly what it would say, even before I listened to it. I could depend on your voice. I could depend on you.


So much has happened in the last two years and there are days when I'm overwhelmed with the reality that I cannot make that phone call anymore to ask for advice or guidance. I can't share my thoughts and feelings with you in your office anymore. I can't ask you to calm my fears and talk sense into my doubts. I miss that. I miss the way you could calm me down. I miss the reassuring hugs you gave me on so many of my worst days. I just miss you.

You knew that I wasn't going to work for you forever, and after you were gone, I couldn't bear to be in that office. I couldn't bear to see someone else in your space, doing your job (and not as well as you did it). I couldn't bear to see your office empty or your chair turned around toward the window, like you were just sitting there thinking. So I quit. I went back in for one day, typed up my resignation letter, packed up my stuff, and left. I couldn't do it without you. I hope you understand and forgive me for leaving the thing that you worked so hard to build and to save. I am ashamed of that and disappointed in myself, but I would have needed your guidance for much longer in order to have been successful there without you.


After I got done moping and crying and refusing to get out of bed, I had some hard decisions to make. I've never made a hard decision in my life without your input up until two years ago! I didn't know how to do it with just one sounding board instead of the two that I was used to. What was I going to do with my life? Who was I going to be? Where was I going to do it? How was I going to do it? It took a lot of praying, a lot of crying, a lot of talking, and a lot of doing things that scared me to make the big decisions. I am meant to be a teacher. You knew it. I needed to find my joy again. You told me that. I needed to become a grown-up. You wanted that for me. So I started doing it all. I hope you're proud of the decisions that I have made and that you would have encouraged to follow a similar path.

Thank you for loving me so fiercely. Thank you for hugging me and kissing me, even when I resisted. Thank you for giving me advice. Thank you for providing for us. Thank for you for cultivating my love of books and flowers. Thank you for taking us on vacations that provide endless memories. Thank you for teaching me how to fish. Thank you for coming to visit me while I was in school and for never saying no to buying me a plane ticket home. Thank you for loving my friends as much as I did. Thank you for defending me. Thank you for taking the blame if I didn't want to be somewhere. Thank you for encouraging me to be creative, even when I was certain that I did not possess a single creative bone. Thank you for listening to good music. Thank you for letting me listen to terrible music. Thank you for taking us to the movies. Thank you for always answering the phone. Thank you for leaving me notes. Thank you for being dependable. Thank you for being goofy. Thank you for having that funny belly laugh that got all high-pitched. Thank you for surprising me at my Bearathon, letting me cry when it got cancelled on account of lightning, helping me clean up, and then buying me a keg so that I could throw a party. Thank you for coming to that party. Thank you for making me watch John Wayne movies and learn every Jimmy Buffett song ever recorded. Thank you for buying me a car. Thank you for my education. Thank you for reading to me. Thank you for taking me to church. Thank you for telling me no when I needed to hear it. Thank you for usually saying yes. Thank you for everything, Dad.

I wouldn't be who I am today without the huge impression that you made on my life. It's been two years, but there isn't an hour of a day that I don't think about you and miss you. I have moments when I'm incredibly angry at God for taking you away from me so soon. I think about all of the things that I have left to do in my life and I'm sad at the fact that you won't be there to do them with me. I grieve for the times in my life that I won't be able to hear you cheering me on. But then I get to those moments when I find myself still looking for your face in the crowd and guess what? I still see it. I see it in the sunshine, in the way that leaves move on the trees, in the clouds that roll in before a storm. I hear you in lyrics on the radio, in the wind when it roars. I smell you at the beach, when the salt is so thick that it gets in every ounce of my being. I close my eyes and I see your sweet, soft, close-mouthed smile. I see you nod to me, like you always did, as if silently saying, "You're my girl, and I know that you can do this."

I'm so glad that I look like you, because I can only hope that my smiles encourage people like yours always encouraged me.

Thank you for believing in me.

I miss you.

I love you.

I'll see you soon.

don't tell me you love, show me you love me. 

in loving memory

roger scott waynick
october 9, 1960 - march 22, 2011

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life
all the way